And then before you know it

It'll be Christmas. Halloween was just mentioned to me, and I'm all like, chill out, it's months away. But it's actually TWO WEEKS away. Good Christ, I am ill prepared for time to be whooshing by like this. I have decided that this year, I will not be going to the Legion, as is the norm (never did I think the Royal Canadian Legion would be the pinnacle of my social existence, but there it is), for several reasons, most of which are entitled "last Halloween".

Let me set the scene for you. You pay a zillion dollars for the privilege of being a member of the Legion, and you have to swear to not be a communist, which I find hilarious and insulting at the same time. Screw you pal! I'll be a communist if I feel like it! So I refuse to pay this membershit (a typo and it stays), and non-members have to be signed in. Very exclusive right? Ugh. There is nothing more frightening then when the lights come up on a Friday night at the Legion. So I'd have to find someone to sign me in, but on Halloween, there's very rarely space for non-members - last year I waited 2 and a half hours to get in. In a blizzard. Dressed as a slutty cop.

And then when I finally got in, there was cool decorations, and lots of wild costumes, but otherwise, it was just your average Saturday night at the sleege. Well. Me and 9 of my peeps broke out the Thriller dance in the middle of it all too, but that's another story for another day.

So this year, I'm not doing it. I'm going to be part of a zombie hoard (yes, I'm doing the makeup) and I think I'm going to a friends house for festivities. I bet I'll still have a laugh......Plus! It cost about the same for a BOX of wine (I know, classy right? Wanna smell my box cutter?) as for a bottle at the legion. Discussion closed.

I totally used to be a Legion baby, so I don't when all this "growing up" happened, but I have got no time left for standing around getting trashed and trashing people. My mother must be proud.

The Help