What are you Doing?!?

Shouldn't you be working right now?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

We need to talk

What the f-ing F is up with everyone and their sitcom sister saying "wow factor"? Like, what? Where did this come from, and why in God's name, why???

I don't know why it grates on my so, but Lord have mercy, quit it! Commercials; "Now, that's what I call the wow factor", stupid storage wars (which I completely loved for approximately 47 seconds, then I was SO over it), my beloved Say Yes to the Dress (don't judge me, at least I've gotten over bawling like a little girl every time one of the women says yes).

We need to shut this down people. Who in the world wants to sound like Darryl from Storage Wars (yuuuuuuuuuup)? We should, together, aim to sound like Tina Fey, or Lewis Black or even frigging Maury Povich.

I'll wow your factor in a minute.

In other news, it turns out that my first love, Wheels from Degrassi, kicked it. Five years ago. How is it that I know from minute to minute how many lawsuits Lindsay Lohan has against her, yet we don't know it when a Canadian Legend (in my mind) buys the farm? Ah Wheels, we hardly knew ye.

I met him once, when I was like 12. I was in such an awestruck love haze, your friend The Help was unable to speak in his presence. True story.

The Help

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Presented without comment

Ok, one comment: Yummo!

I am the best girlfriend ever

You know why? Not for expensive gifts or daring public proclimations. Let me tell you why; today, even though I FRIGGING HATE IT, I did the dishes. That right there, is love.

Someone just set off a bunch of fireworks outside my apartment building. I mean, jeeze, what a show off. Maybe their song is that Katy Perry one where her boobs shoot out sparklers. Or when they are Hershey's kisses, or something equally strange that makes her boobs into not boobs. It's hard to keep track.

So the whole school thing. This is gonna be my last discussion on the failed course....thing is, I was taking the fail personally. Yes, it's a shitty, shitty bump in the road that does affect my life. But it doesn't need to ruin it.  The battle is lost, but I'm gonna OWN the war.

My darling's dad dying, that's big drops. A failed course is a small drop in the bucket. So I'm checking my ego, and getting the frak over it. I've been sleeping better since I've decided to get over it.

Next week, for the first time, The Help is going to Yellowknife. I know it seems weird to be going sideways instead of down for my brief vacation time, but I couldn't be more excited. Shoppers drug mart is in sight. As are dear friends, walmart, TREES, and I'm really hoping a good deli.

My last word for today - you don't need to be in a relationship for an awesome Valentine's day. Check out designer shoe warehouse. (heh, you thought I was gonna say something about masturbation, didn't you?)

The Help

Monday, February 13, 2012

Hearts, Cupid and etc.

Do you believe in Valentine's Day? Well, I suppose that's the wrong way to pose the question, cause the day exists whether we believe or not. I guess what I'm really asking is, do you celebrate? Is it important to you?

Many moons ago, when I was working on my first degree (a very profitable double major of folklore and English) I did a little paper on Valentine's day, had a look back at the history of, the things people do, that kind of thing. I also did a survey of about 60 people, asking what they did, and if they knew the story of Valentine's day. Turned out that not one person knew why, but they all celebrated, by purchasing gifts or cards. Even the people who didn't celebrate, celebrated in some way (me and some friends used to have an anti-valentines - horror movies and cake in the shape of a broken heart).

This year is the first Valentine's for my darling and me. Last year he was in Ontario whilst I was here in Nunavut, and the funny thing is, it turns out we both feel the same way about the day. That it's pretty much foolishness.

We still gave each other gifts, but really, it was because we enjoy giving each other gifts. My darling gave me an ice cream maker. Boom. I'm currently eating my first ever batch of ice cream, raspberry chocolate. I am going to get so much fatter.

Here is a list of things we're going to do tomorrow, for Valentine's day:

4. Eat schwarma. Seems like a good tradition to me.
3. Eat the second ever batch of ice cream (that would be triple chocolate. yes, you should be jealous).
2. NOT give each other $9 cards from northmart.
1. Watch a series of particularly gory zombie flicks.


The Help