Well, that was brutal.

I've been to a lot of funerals in my time. A lot, a lot, a lot. When your mom is the youngest of 17 (true story), there's always someone buying the farm, it's just the way it is.

I've gone to funerals for young people, old people, long-term sick people, and surprise deaths too.

Today I went to my first funeral in the North.

A girl in my class, lost her father this week. He was a very popular and well-loved man in the city, and there were so many people there, they spilled into the hall, and the porch beyond.

At first, it seemed like a typical funeral, but then the wailing began. It was gut-wrenching, retching sobbing that filled up the room. It was a siren song for mourners; come grieve with me, don't let me be alone.

It was terrible, and beautiful.

I have never encountered anything like it. It made southern funerals seems stunted, cut short. Why do we hold back? Why do we hide our grief?

I think I'm going have a drink now.

The Help

That's the kind of math I like

I did a little math today. I have (spread over 2 weeks), 7 days of classes left! For this semester. This does not include exam week or clinical time in the hospital, but this is a manageable number for me. 7 days. I guess that's not really math, it's just thinking, but whatever, work with me here mm'kay?

3 months and 5 days until I go on vacation. FOR A MONTH. There won't be ANY snow whatsoever. I'm not gonna lie, I've been spending a lot of time in the last little while looking at summer clothes that I'm lusting after, and thinking about summer menus to cook for my wonderful friends down south.

You know what's funny? I cook, like a lot. I'm kinda prideful about it (is prideful the right word in this situation? Only other usage of prideful I can think of is getting a lecture about it in school. God bless the catholics). Point is, I love to cook, I have fancy pants cooking utensils, and am forever feeding people and watching them react to the food (sidenote, I think that is the best bit about cooking. Watching people fall in love with something they never even thought of before. But I digress). Long story short (too late), I cook, I love to cook, and I don't think I have ever cooked for my family. For real. What the frak is that about?? Weird hey? I guess it's cause I don't live in Newfoundland anymore, and I didn't really find my cooking legs (whatever, you know what I mean) until I moved to Nunavut. Which is also kind of funny, given the price of food around here. It's expensive to be experimenting in the kitchen.

I remember the first time my parents REALLY heard me sing. It was the same sort of thing. I never really stop singing, and they heard me sing in church a bajillion times (which is not really singing, It's the little white gloves of singing.). But after my friend Michael's funeral, me and all my hippie friends descended on my parents house (mom made a giant meal for us all, as none of us had eaten for days. I wonder where I get it from.....) and after eating, we decided to sing. We wanted to sing him up. We sang every song every one of us had ever known, and then some.

My parents were there, hovering in the background, and I remember very clearly (everything that happened that day is burned into my memory), my mom saying to me later "I knew you could sing, but I didn't know you could sing like that. I didn't know you could do that." It is one of my fondest memories ever, let alone of that day, when there weren't many good memories.

I can't wait to do this again. I'm thinking a mango gazpacho to start.

The Help

A blog o' lists

But first, for the second time in TWO WEEKS, your friend the help, has gone out, and drank herself silly. I had a dear friend's stagette last night, and dear god. I mean, the penis talk. And now today, I am paying. I'm paying and paying.

Worth it.

So in  my hungover haze, I decided to undertake a giant undertaking - organize and clean my dvd collection. For the first time ever, my dvds are in alphabetical order. Yeah, I have around 400 dvds. To the lists!

Top Ten Favorite Movies of All Time: (in no particular order)
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Shawn of the Dead
Batman (1989)
Love Actually
Across the Universe
Children of Men
Dirty Dancing
The Fifth Element
Singles
A Mighty Wind

My Top Fave I-don't care-that-you-hate-'em movies:
The Happening
Run Fatboy Run
Shall We Dance
Shoot 'Em Up
What Happens in Vegas
The Proposal

Movies I can't believe I own:
Norbit (could't even finish watching it. I may be too smart)
The Rocker (I mean, good god)
Wayne's World 2
Trick r Treat (Just TERRIBLE)
Vantage Point (I'm so ashamed)
I now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry (why is Adam Sandler still allowed to make movies?)
Jennifer's body
Knight and Day (no excuses)
The Lake House (a gift, swears)
Armored

Top Under-Appreciated Movies:
The Waitress
Saved
The Losers (funny and explody)
The Replacements
Charlie Bartlett
Bottle Shock

The Old School List:
Empire records
The Goonies
Almost Famous
Bring it On (shut up)
Clue (for real, watch it again as a grown up)

I could also do a top zombie movie list, a top horror movie list and a top musicals list, but this is enough for today. Plus my computer is almost dead.

Notice the almost complete lack of drama flicks? I hate 'em. I think life is too short.

The Help

Spring has blanked us again

All over facebook today, people are moaning about how it's only 5 degrees, or how it's raining on their first day of spring. I would like to point out, with the windchill here today, it is a mere -47. Yeah.

Today I'm writing entirely as a procrastination project. I have a paper due tomorrow, a critique of an article, and as soon as I catch sight of said article, my vision gets all fuzzy and I find myself looking for something, ANYTHING, to focus on that has nothing to do with a randomized study.

Good news: the movie theatre re-opened a few days ago. I guess the tantrum ended.

Further good news: my darling ordered a birthday gift for me, that came in the mail this week, and even though it's a month til my birthday, gave it to me anyway. My darling gave me a diamond necklace. I am the luckiest.

Just over 3 months til my summer vacation! At which time, I'm sure I'll bitch about the heat.

The Hunger Games movie comes out this week. Yeah, ah, I'm pretty psyched about this. Read the books if you haven't already. I haven't read anything this good since Harry Potter.

May the odds be EVER in your favor.

The Help

Aaaa, March in the North

So after writing that moany moany (heh, I just realised what I did there. It stays) post the other day, I had several friends text and email, commiserating with me my misery. It's like I forget this time every year.

It happens in our fair city every year around this time. People are SICK TO DEATH of winter and start getting a little frayed around the edges. See for us, there has been significant snow on the ground for 7 months. It has been hovering around -40 to -50 for about three months. A lot of people have about hit their limit, and it's starting to show.

But soon, soon, we will have the sun all night  long, and people will be able to take their parkas off. Soon we'll be able to walk around without fear of our skin freezing in chunks. Take heart my friends, we're almost there.

Every year in April, around my birthday, I throw this party, called the Messy Dressy. Every year, I'm completely blown away by how many people show up, and how thoroughly people participate. Last year I stopped counting at 70 people in dresses and suits, and there is always a flurry of emails when the date gets announced.

I do not fool myself into thinking that it's because of my birthday - it's because around the time that the Messy Dressy happens each year, people need an out. Ladies need a reason to shave their legs, dudes, a reason to shave their beards. It is such a pleasure to see everyone in their finery, forgetting about work and school and coming together in the oldest way known to man - drinking our faces off.

Also, and most importantly, I have a sparkly dress.

The Help

The dark side

Nope, there's not even any cookies.

I'm in a mood here today, some might even say a pissy mood. If you don't want to hear about it, or are gonna judge me for it, please, feel free to stop reading.

This mood is for a couple of reasons - I couldn't sleep again last night, my finger hurts totally bad, and I'm having one of those days where I HATE living here.

A list:
1. The one movie theatre is shut down. I have heard of two reasons for this, and I believe both. Reason 1. so few people turned up to the crappy selection of Saturday night movies, the proprietor had a tantrum and shut 'er down (this has happened before, in my tenure in this city). Reason 2. Apparently a movie theatre owner in Yellowknife tattled to whomever regulates movie theatre viewings that "The Iron Lady" wasn't playing in enough time slots, and see above re: tantrum. The reason behind the shut down is not my concern. My concern is that we, as grown ups have 2 options - bars or movies. I don't have the emotional energy for bars these days.

2. There's this tradition here, that artists/carvers/seamstresses can go table to table at restaurants and in hotel lobbys etc to sell their wares. Most of the time, I think this is good - it cuts out the middle man, and the artist gets all the money instead of a chunk of profit, plus you get your pick of interesting and beautiful art. Wonderful. Maybe I'm a bad guy, but I would LOVE to have one meal that isn't interrupted every three minutes. I know, I know, it's tradition, who am I etc.....I'm tired is who I am. Just today, for example, I was having lunch with my darling, and I surprised us both by breaking down crying during a conversation we were having. And still, sitting there with tears running down my face, there is a man trying to convince me to buy his carving. Just give me five minutes man. Just give me a break. Please.

3. Sometimes you wanna go where NO ONE knows your name. Just yesterday, I had a bit of a runaround. A good, dear friend wrote a congratulations in his blog to some friends who had recently gotten engaged. The wording was a little mixed up, so it sounded like he was congratulating ME on getting engaged. Minor mistake right? Small stuff. Yes, true, small stuff, except I had no less then SIXTEEN people call/text/email about it. Some were quite upset that they had found out via electronic medium that I was getting married. I am not getting married. At least not that I'm aware of (and that seems like sometime I would be aware of). Poor, dear friend was mortified.

Theres more, like a lack of bookstores or make-up counters, no place to hold a dear friend's stagette, but those are the big ones. The movie theatre shutting is a devastating blow.

I need a drink.

The Help

Word(s).

Do you have words that you love, or hate? Do you think that there are words that sound perfect together? There's a movie, called The Good Girl, I think (which is possibly the best thing Jennifer Aniston did since Friends) and the young guy in the movie said that the most beautiful phrase in the english language is "cellar door". I do not happen to agree. I think the most beautiful phrase is "you win". Just kidding (or am I?).

I love the word caress. Lily. I love the phrase (is it a phrase if it's only two words?) cherry blossom. Rock machine (I read that in a book once, it was the name of a biker gang, and I thought it couldn't be more perfect; menacing and blunt).

Words I hate: youngster (someone called me a youngster as a child once, and it sounded like such an insult, I have hated the word ever since. funny huh?), I hate stupid words that are a combination of two other words. We're doing it too often, and when we're all sounding like Rachel Ray, we're giving away what a bunch of dumbasses we are (fantabulous!).

I dislike the word boyfriend. I never really had a problem with it, or even thought about it until I met my darling fella. I had a boyfriend when I was 12, what I have now, it is far too important for a word that I shared with the first boy I ever held hands with on the bus. "Boyfriend" is not enough to describe him.

But then, of course, we get into the problem of "partner". There are so few people who can carry off saying "my partner" without sounding pretentious (not including our gay friends). I raise my eyebrow to you, oh caller of partner.

And maybe, just maybe, I'm a picky bitch. Heh.

The Help

You can take your shades off

We all know that I have a certain not-so-secret fondness for gossip blogs. Lately, they've been kinda of turning my stomach however - all this fuss over Whitney Houston's death. Really, really, before she died, when was the last time you thought about her? If the most interesting thing a person has done in the last ten years is to up and die, shit ain't good.

Maybe I sound a little heartless....whatever. Talk to the people who put all the pills in her hand. Look at the doctors who wrote the prescriptions to a WIDELY known drug addict. Fame. Kicks normal people between the eyes.

Then look at this Snooki creature! This child, this orange moron, is pregnant. Do you think there will be reality tv cameras in the delivery room? Probably. Dear Jesus, if it were possible, she'd probably shove a camera up there to record the baby's view coming into the world. I weep for the future.

The Help

You know, there's times that I'm quite happy to be living in a small place. While Iqaluit is the big city in Nunavut, we still have a pretty small town feel - everyone knows everyone, and there's no such thing as a secret (which is not always great - I mean, what if you get herpes?? Gah!).

This week was one of those times that I'm proud to be Nunavumuit. There was a terrible, terrible fire here this week. I'm sure you heard about it, or saw pictures, or smelled it in the air.

The apartment that my darling lived in before he moved in with me is gone.

I had a debate with myself about talking about the fire, and the conclusion I came to is, I'm not going to talk about the tragic side, I'm going to talk about the wonderful things. Everyone knows about the tragic stuff, the deaths, the losses, the horrifying aftermath for those who lost everything. But there is so much good to this story, it couldn't be looked past.

I happened to be in Ottawa when this happened. My friend and I took the urgent need list, went to walmart and bought out the place, and by the time I went to donate it, I was turned away. What a wonderful thing, to be turned away because they have so much, so many people gave, and gave (I just donated the stuff to other people in need - the ones that never stop needing).

My dear friends at the Iqaluit fire department made us all so proud. These people stood, and worked, and fought in -50 for 15 hours, some for longer. Have you ever done anything for 15 hours, let alone something so hard? I know I haven't. These firefighters, these friends of mine, make me proud to be a friend. One woman, a friend in the nursing program, told me about how she almost fell asleep sitting on the fire hose. Imagine how tired, how drained she  must have felt to be ABLE to fall asleep in those conditions.

A man named Pierre Wolfe walked in circles around the fire site for 24 hours, in an effort to collect money for the victims. He raised over $3000 on his own.

A large group of musicians held a benefit concert, that was put together in haste by a wonderful, caring human being name Jason Devries. They raised over $5600. I also understand the roof may have been raised on that one (see what I did there?).

How lucky are we, those who have so much?

The Help

The Great Facebook Debate

Raise your hand if you hate facebook. No one is going to judge you (out loud) if you love it, but my goodness, I'm sick to death of it. The people forever moaning in their statuses, or worse, quoting one of those angsty teen girl songs. And what fresh hell is this? Timeline? I don't want it! Leave me alone facebook, why do you continuously fix things that ain't broke??

I remember in the early halceon days of facebook, when it was still a novelty, seeing on a "friend's" (who I barely know) status: "Amy (name changed) kissed a girl and she liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick", and I am so uncool, I had never heard the song, so my first thought was, hey, good for you, experimenting in lesbianism. Sigh, so deeply uncool.

I follow people who I find interesting, or who have adorable children (that may be my biological clock making that call). I keep in touch with a few friends from home, and some family too, but mostly I use facebook as a vehicle for people to easily read my blog. Like, thats it. How very narcissitic of me, I know.

I hate the drama that comes along with facebook. I used to say that facebook didn't cause drama, people did, and it was just a medium for revealing said drama. I don't buy that anymore.

So many people use facebook to get back at someone. To announce to the world how unhappy they are. To use the relative lack of privacy against others. To bitch and bitch and bitch.....it stresses me out man.
I know, you can block people's statuses from your feed, but I'm down to like 3 people now, cause everyone was pissing me off and/or making me sad.

So what do I do? Stop visiting? I don't really go on that often anymore (which in turn pisses people off because I don't get back to them fast enough for their liking).  Cut the people who drive me to drink? I know, for sure, that doing such a thing would create more drama. Shut it down? While I don't actually go on that much, I still live very far from my friends and family......it's frustrating non?

The great debate; unsettled.

The Help