I had a lengthy debate with myself over whether or not I was going to share this particular piece of information, but maybe once it's out there, it won't feel so shitty and embarrassed.
I failed a course last semester.
I know. I have crazy good grades and get scholarships and such, how could this have happened?? Well, the thing is, my whole class failed. We are now all being held back for a year, my graduation won't be 2015 now. I will be 38 when I graduate.
Obviously, this was not part of the plan......but there's this saying, something along the lines of "wanna hear God laugh? tell him your plans". Don't worry, I'm not gonna go all dear Jesus on you, but this idea, this saying is something that makes sense to me right now. Failing a course does not make sense to me right now.
I'm freaking devastated.
It took me three days to tell my parents. Not because I was afraid they would be mad or disappointed, but because I am so ashamed. There are a lot of people who ask me about school, who rally around me.....and to tell these people, my cheerleaders, that I tried and failed is awful. I worked hard, and still, I failed.
There's more. Because I failed this course, and am being held back, I'm not eligible for the same scholarships and bursaries. No Vegas for The Help.
Maybe this is a gift, this newly found free time, I don't know. I'm having a difficult time looking at the positive side right now.