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Monday, February 25, 2013

I Hate Flying

It's not just the flying part of flying (which I really, REALLY hate), it's everything that goes along with it -the line ups, the jostling, the upheaval. The idiots who never read signs (why doesn't anyone read signs?). The worse idiots who get pissy about uncontrollable things like the weather; I have witnessed darling friends getting crapped all over because the fog was preventing flights landing.

Riddle me this dumbass - how could a ticket agent possibly control the weather??

I have been on 3 flights recently, and I am attempting (and failing) to get back to the north. Lemme give you a run down of some of my recent flying experiences:

Flight the second, I am seated next to a woman who clearly wants to make friends. As I am consistently on the verge of gibbering terror when flying, I hope she will forgive me to not playing along. She was travelling with two young women, my guess both were in their early twenties. They were sitting in three separate isles, and for the bit of the flight that I couldn't wear my headphones, this is how the conversation went:

Woman: Say goodbye to Ottawa!
Daughter 1: Autobots?
Daughter 2: Autobots?
Daughter 1: They're like robots from that movie.
Woman: Autobahn?
Daughter 1: Autobahn?
Daughter 2:Autobots?
Woman: Autobots? I thought we were talking about a road in Germany.

End scene.

They commenced drinking (it was 9am), I watched them in open mouthed awe until I was able to turn music on really, really loud.

This is what I'm talking about ladies and gentlemen. Simply typing this conversation has made me tired.

A woman who sat next to me on the plane on the way back to Ottawa took off her boots and changed into slippers for the 45 minute long flight. Seriously. She was all grunting and heaving....just leave the boots on lady! AAahhhhhh!!

I'm walking to Ottawa for my next vacation.

1 comment:

  1. I obviously fit the generic description for a drug-smuggling bomb-maker, because every time I pass through airport security I become the proud recipient of a full body exam and drug test. That isn't even an exaggeration, it happens every single time.

    That is just the start... Here is my full post on why I hate flying