I quit my job. True story. I tried really, really hard, but I couldn't make it all work, there are simply not enough hours in the day. And school has been so gonzo, with promises of it only getting WORSE, BY A LOT in the next few months. Soon after exams end, I'm in the hospital, for 12 hours a day.
Truth is, I haven't been doing great. I was setting aside crying time every day, just like when I had three jobs at once a few years ago. Like, let alone that my school work was suffering, my job was suffering, my relationships were suffering - I was suffering. Feeling on the edge of crazy, didn't know my arse from my elbow, forgetting important stuff, falling asleep in the back of cabs, crazy.
I miss my friends. I miss having a life. I miss being able to stay awake past 10. Look, I know what I signed up for, it's no use rubbing my choices in my face. I'm not saying I can't do it, I'm saying it's really fucking hard. A personal pet peeve - when people, friends, get on my case about my absenteeism. This does not make me want to go out, it makes me want to stay in and hide, and never come out. Putting drinks in my hand will not make me party. Another pet peeve: when I tell people that I'm having a hard time, that I need a little understanding, and the response is invariably, you'll be fine. Buck up soldier.
A completely unconnected pet peeve - Do I ever hate it when perfectly healthy, not-laden-down-with-crap people use those handicap door buttons. I don't know why, but it makes me wanna rip my skin off with annoyance. Recently, I held open one such door for a young man, and AFTER he was through the door, he pushed the button to open the f-ing door. Why? I know why - because this child is so used to slapping the button on the way through, he doesn't know how to not do it. What a sorry statement of our times. People are too lazy to OPEN A DOOR. I'll open your door in a minute kid (whilst staring menacingly at said kid).
Please to tell Dear Help, surely there must be some good news to report? Anything that doesn't make you feel all stabby?
It's true my friends, there is some good news. My darling, my favorite man since my daddy, is coming back to town this week. This week!! It seemed to take years, but it is happening this Friday. And even better news (depending on whether or not you speak to my sainted parents or not), we are moving in together, living in sin if you'd prefer. I'm so freaking excited for this. To have meals together and sleep in if we feel like it, and sit around and watch tv on Sunday afternoons.......le sigh. Yes, it all sounds very sedate, maybe even boring. And I couldn't be happier.
PS there was a major fire here in Iqaluit this week. 30 families lost everything. So please, think of these people, pray for these people, donate if you can. Thank your lucky stars and whichever god you worship that it wasn't you. Perhaps get renter's insurance?