What are you Doing?!?

Shouldn't you be working right now?

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

And then today

I just purchased my wedding invitations.

Shit just got real son.

It's so funny, I got more weepy and nervous ordering the invitations then anything else so far (well, except for the dress of course, I am human after all). I'm surprised in fact, by how emotional I got. We both have already purchased and received our rings - and while I do take the rings out of the safe and stare at them sometimes, it has not come close to what I am feeling here today.

Is it because the important stuff just got committed to paper? Or because my mom and dad's names appear on the top? I haven't been a little girl in a long time, but I'm still my parents baby, I'm not gonna lie.

My ipod tells me that we're getting married in 9 months and 18 days. I hope I can pull it together in those intervening months, cause I'm paying a lot of money to get my make up done, and I don't want to cry it all off before I even leave the freakin spa.

I have shocked even myself since getting engaged. I cry ALL THE TIME. Like, several times a day. What the hell is the matter with me?

I once had a manager type say about me (behind my back) that I had a soft touch, backed up by balls of steel. This was (I assume) a huge compliment, but since I've gotten engaged, it's like I lost my lady balls.

I cry when I think about my niece and nephew getting all dressed up. I cry when I read the things people say in their speeches. When I think about my daddy walking me down the aisle, or my mom giving us a blessing.

I cry when we plan ways to include my darling's lost dad in the wedding.

I cry when I see how happy people are for me.

And Jesus, the state of me when I hear the song that will be our first dance. I've started listening to it often, so maybe I won't be such a wreck on the day, but so far, this process hasn't tamed the beast.

Go to www.momentjunkie.com, and have a little cry with me.

1 comment:

  1. "soft touch with balls of steel", yep. Sounds just like you. You're crying, but remember it's of joy. It's ok, you can lose the 'balls' when it comes to your wedding. To be honest, I'm quite excited myself to see you two get married, and very honored that I'll be standing by a good friend while he marries another good friend.